Let the World Go Turning By
by alittlelikehome
Summary: A dab of Izzie's thoughts after she slept with George and as she struggles with her decision to extract her marrow for Hannah...then onward with what becomes of her life...
1. Chapter 1

A/N- I know it has been said many times before, but this is my first venture into Grey's Anatomy fanfic, so for the love of everything McHoly, be gentle! This fic is based on a Gizzie ship, and rumors of a Gizzie baby, but I promise I have tried to take a different spin and I hope you enjoy the journey.

I want to go ahead and clear up any continuity (and or medicinal) issues. I know sometimes they take the line that even though weeks may span between each episode we view, it may only be the next day or so in "Grey Time". Regarding this story, there was only a small passage of time between the night George and Izzie slept together, and when the marrow was extracted for Hannah. This allows canon to occur, and the baby to still be in existence, because when they would have taken general blood panels before the procedure, the baby would barely be gestating. Hope that takes care of that!

Oh yeah, and they aren't mine…how bleak…

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For a million and one reasons, my heart is bleeding today.

You probably don't feel for me, and I don't blame you. I have been playing Damaged Girl for a while now. It is always one thing after another with me. And my behavior lately, I can only say that I am truly ashamed. I'm not so proud to be me sometimes. I sadly have even become a member of the Dirty Mistresses Club.

But my heart, it is bleeding.

My baby, my Sarah, now Hannah, is sick. Not sick in a common way, or a simple way. She has leukemia. A cancer is trying to eat her life away. Her prognosis is not good at all. Most unfortunately, I cannot grieve that fact in quiet lack of understanding. When I saw her chart, the surgeon in my mind took the sum total of levels of this, and percentages of that, and made a whole picture of how bad things truly were.

Now for the first time since she left my womb, she needs me. And I find myself bleeding with the sorrow of indecisiveness. It shouldn't be this hard. I know she needs my marrow. But it feels like I'm stuck in the mud, and the world is whizzing by. I can't process, I can't think.

I need George.

He can help me make this right. He can tell me what I need to do, and help me make it happen.

But, George, he isn't talking to me.

I made my last mistake with him, when I took him into my bed under the haze of bourbon. I don't think he knew at the time that it was my true stirrings that urged me to cross the line. I love him. Madly and truly. And now that he knows, he is PISSED. No longer lover, or best friend. I'm screwed.

Even as my heart bleeds out though, Bailey directs me in the right way. She holds my hand, takes my labs, and helps me hide my painful secret from prying eyes. The Nazi of the surgical floor, held me close and told me she understood as I cried because Hannah didn't want to see me.

For the first time in a long time, I have a true mother figure here. However that doesn't stop my heart from shattering. I want my baby to want me. I want my best friend to lie by me in the starched sheets and kiss my forehead till I'm okay.

How selfish am I?

No wonder my heart is bleeding.


	2. Chapter 2

-1Thanks so much for reviewing! You made me smile!

So here we go, Chapter 2..still covered with the bleakness of not owning jack but my imagination…

I tried very hard to be the strong one.

I had made up my mind.

I would let them drill a hole in my hip. I would give of myself once more to my baby. Most importantly, I would learn to do this on my own. I had to. We were talking life and death, here. And, frankly, I didn't have much else in the way of choices.

But, new, determined, Izzie…she couldn't help but wonder on as they prepped her.

I spoke strictly to the few involved that no one was to know. However, I secretly wished that George would know. That somehow the BFF bat signal would let loose a blast of light and lead him to this cold hard table. If anything, I am a dreamer. A dreamer sleeping deep past everything that made George no BFF of mine…at least not anymore.

The bitter taste of reality slipped onto my tongue , and I grit my teeth in determination. I would and could do this alone. I glanced up to Bailey and gave her a grimace of "Go".

In a flash, the doors flew open like a beacon as the dull whirl of the drill began.

George…my George…he was here!

My heart leapt to my throat even as I tried to force it back down to my toes where it had sunk long ago.

But I just couldn't.

He was here.

A cold determination painted on his face as he rushed towards me and invaded my space. For this one moment it wasn't about all the wrongs or fights, but why I hadn't told him straight up. As if there was no reason to give it a second thought. My meek and mild George was commanding Bailey away. In all ways he was assuming his role as my one and only. Impossible as it was, he was there to hold my hands and validate all of my concerns. No wonder I keep finding myself falling harder and harder everyday for him.

With him by my side it was nothing. The drill whizzed and bore, I gave and bled, but I was floating comfortably somewhere between us. More than forced, obligated, or determined, I was brave with George within a breaths distance. He was all warmth and gentleness, becoming more intimate with me putting on my clothing than any man before had become stripping me bare.

Then BAM.

More than a chill, an absolute frost came across. My George had left the building, and he was going to send me the equivalent of a hospital bellhop to send me on my way.

Seriously.

The shock kept me frozen in my spot until he rushed back in to my side. The fact that he could not leave me once and for all, gave me enough hope that we could survive. And despite the fact that Hannah would not see me, He took me to her window. He told me how brave and beautiful she looked. Even as he compared her to me in the most awful, embarrassing ways, but it still dawned a hope in me for Hannah.

While we shared giggles and cheek kisses, I once again forgot all about her.

Callie.

His…wife.

I didn't know she was in the hallway waiting for him. If I did, I would've felt bad.

Maybe.

But if I knew what was to come, I would have definitely felt bad. Only in that Old-Izzie way. Bad, bad, bad, for myself and the predicament I had fell into…


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you once again for the reviews! What may only take you a moment truly means the world to me! J Makes me wanna write more…so let the games begin…

Just as an aside, I felt like I had to explore Izzie's mindset in depth during the whole Hannah drama. I think that those moments created a beautiful foundation for what George and Izzie share and hopefully continue. Bare boned, pissed off, and at wits end with the drama that is Grey's…he was there, and it spoke to me. And who didn't just want to have a sliver of the hotness that was the pant scene? To send my story to sea, I had to make the ship, but for expedience sake, I will not be recapping all the episodes in Izzie speak. Everything to this point that has happened in the show has happened here, but now my darling shall sail…

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They say that life is a rollercoaster and that you should enjoy the ride. Ups and downs make you appreciate what you've got. I am not saying I am ungrateful, but every once in a while, I'd prefer to stroll the park than be the main attraction. I just want off the friggin' thing! Is that too much to ask? I am in a good place. May I please enjoy it?

Maybe I am just morose because the rain pelting against the window pane ever so slightly resembles the onslaught of crap being pelted against me.

I am Model Doctor, Deer Saver extraordinaire. Whoopty friggin' doo. PETA unite. No, please do. Seriously. Because those bitches that are my Interns will never do so for me. Hate them. How can they , who barely know the difference between a bandaid and a bullet hole, criticize me? And, more importantly, why do I care? Who knows? I sure don't.

When I am not busy being that freak, I am Dirty Mistress, Slut of Seattle Grace. I get more dirty looks in an hour than a weeping lesion. How wrong is that? This hospital could basically fund the entire Trojan Empire, and I am the slut. For one night that gave me the love of my life. Hello? Have these people even met McSteamy? What makes it worse, is that I feel every inch like the Dirty Girl. I stole someone's husband. My boss' husband. The one I told repeatedly, in a fury, that I was his best friend only. Ha. No matter how wrong they were for each other, I am eternally wrong in my rightness. How much does that suck?

But in the in between times, when light meets dark and it all becomes hazy, I have these soft moments. He loves me. He may have been hesitant. I may have been pushy. But he loves me. He loves me! George picked me! He left her for me! To say "over the moon" would be a slight underrating of what I am feeling now. Now matter what happens, I have these moments that make it all worthwhile.

So back to square one in all senses of the phrase.

I return to the pelting, painful rain, and George and I find ourselves with first-time jitters under Meredith's roof. More precisely, I wait in my bed under Meredith's roof with the rain while I await my lover's return. I think what people don't get is that this scandalous love of ours, is simply times we've shared amplified by a thousand. We are still George and Izzie, living with Meredith, surviving the hospital, sharing a bed along with our dreams and secrets. Only this time we do it naked. A very pleasant shift, indeed. Never the less, these past few weeks have been dazzling. Who knew how much a drunken night could change? It even gave me one more "I Am" statement.

I am a mother. Again. Rather soon-to-be, again. Only this baby I can keep, I think. This baby has a chance at a real life with me…and a Daddy. I find it so hard to believe George is going to be a Daddy. Better than just a Daddy, he will be the good kind that shapes his child into a beautiful someone. I am even having a hard time grasping that I will be a mother. A real one this time. The kind that gives kisses and muffins, not just bone marrow and a lifetime away from me.

Yup.

Just like that, in one go that fateful night, two became one in more than a spiritual way. Even as I touch my flat belly in disbelief, I know it is true.

Of course I have been sick-it was a familiar feeling from a time so long ago. I definitely saw it in black and white-I am a doctor for God's sake. But this time, I am mostly blessed with a lightness that everything will be okay.

I think.

He doesn't know yet what will be sprung on him when he comes off that twelve hour shift. He will know something is wrong simply by the copious amounts of baked goods spilling off the kitchen counter, but he won't know what. If I know my George, and I do, he will run sweetly to me though he is dead tired demanding to know who picked on me now. He will cuddle me close, and kiss me in reassurance. Only this time my nervous shakes will be tremors of trepidation and delight as I tell him our secret…the one born right on this very bed we now share at night.

I squeeze my eyes tight in silent prayer, "Please let him be okay with this". I can't have him turn cold. Not when he is my only sunshine in the storm. Not with our child growing inside of me, just like we have been growing since that night.

I hear the door unlock then open.

Please, please, please…

He catches the scent of muffins, brownies, and cakes that have been turning my stomach all night. My newly minted, determined George calls out for me, already slightly pissed about whatever could have been said today.

"Izzie? Iz? You upstairs?"

He makes his way to me and I could almost puke. I can barely make a sound as he reaches our door and pushes it open.

"George…"

His face morphs from hard to soft and back again…I must have started crying.

"Who hurt you, baby? I love you too much to see you cry. What can I…?"

Suddenly, my mouth gets a raging case of verbal diarrhea and I cut him off quick.

"I'm not hurt, George! We're having a baby!"

My eyes go wide, and I clasp my mouth.

Please, please, please…


	4. Chapter 4

-1So I couldn't wait myself to see where the story led…I'm a freak like that…enjoy!

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I can't believe I just said that. Well, I can believe I said it. It needed to be said. But not like that.

Please, please, please…

My proud, determined George dropped right there.

Not like a frail flower.

Don't get it twisted, he dropped like a ton of bricks.

Right into the door frame.

He earned himself a trip right back to the hospital along with a few stitches and a concussion. Not what I imagined at all. Life really does suck.

Not a word was said about my outburst in the flurry of activity. He wasn't really cold, we held hands the whole time. Just silent. Maybe because he just busted his head?

I was worried and unsure as we waited in the clinic bay. I also felt more than awkward we were in a clinic bay that I built with my dead fiancé's millions. Yeah. While I sat by my busted boyfriend that was only busted because I blurted out that I was with child. Maybe I should take this silent time to find a word that more adequately describes how much this all sucks in some awkward, cosmic level.

George laid himself back against the pillows. Just as I was about to protest about the dangers of sleep and concussions, he pulled me down to his chest. We laid silent once again, but at least now I felt a little more secure. Unless he was trying to hug the hate out…oh God.

I searched for his eyes, for reassurance, but he was staring out into the void. Breathing slow and sure until finally he spoke.

"Are we going to be okay?"

Nervously I asked, "What do you mean?"

"With a baby? Will we be okay?" He suddenly stammered. "Th-that's what you want to do , right? Keep the baby?"

"Of course I want to keep the baby. Do you?"

"Yes. But will we be okay? Things are so hard on you now. You can barely catch a break around here. They'll tear into you all over again. That's not good. Not for you. Not for the baby. Will we be okay?"

"We have us. The three of us. And we won't have a choice. We have a baby. We have to be okay."

"So that's it. We are okay. We are parents."

"Oh, crap."

"Ditto."

Just about then Cristina came sweeping in to discharge.

"K, Bambi. You know the drill. This is for the headache. Sorry I can't offer you something for the stupidity. Heh, you know it's kind of ironic. Izzie the Deer Doctor loves Bambi. Wait! Not ironic, a little with the vomit in my mouth. How unpleasant. So what happened? Did you swoon as she regaled you with tales of her crusade for the animal kingdom?"

"Nope. Not this time. Just told me we were having a baby!"

All the papers and pills dropped from her hands.

"A baby?"

I confirmed it somewhat begrudgingly.

"A baby."

"Callie's going to hate you even more. Congrats. Can I have your surgeries now that you are in a delicate way? Or rather changing bed pans for eternity?"

"Nice, Cristina."

"I'm not nice. I'm honest. You're screwed. And I don't do games if you recall. At least not willingly. So don't you dare try to pass me a diaper with a melted candy nugget or I'll rip your face off! Have a good night!"

And with that parting thought , we were off. The rumor mill already in action.


	5. Chapter 5

That night, we were glowy, warm, and perfect. Some may argue that it was his concussion-fueled dizziness, but I knew our world was tipped askew by the pure delight of the pea sized child that lay between us. We talked about everything from Cristina's reaction, to happy childhood times. The room practically pulsated with how right we are. And as he fell asleep, I secretly chanted and taunted myself with pleasure.

"George O'Malley and Isobel Stevens are pregnant. With child. In a family way..."

In short, we are wonderful.

I awoke that morning to a bright, happy sun beating down from the slats in the shades. George was curled gently around me with smiling lips and tousled hair. I wanted ice cream, but I didn't want to puke. All that can be right, was.

His fingers slipped under my shirt, and spanned across my belly. With his eyes still closed he whispered, "Morning, Mommy. Morning, Baby." and kissed my bare shoulder.

Giddily I rolled over and replied, "Morning Daddy."

After a sweet kiss, we took one look at each other and burst out laughing. He pulled me close as he called me a dork. Yup. Pretty perfect.

"GEORGE! IZZIE! WHAT THE HELL?!"

I had apparently spoke to soon.

We sat up in unison as Meredith slapped the door open.

"A baby?! Seriously?!"

We shared a glance, then nodded without a word.

"You are serious?"

She reached out to snap up a stray pillow and threw it at us.

"You freakin' live with me and the whole hospital knows before I do? Cristina knows about it before I do?"

Finally wore out, she collapsed on the bed beside me.

"Trust me Meredith. You would have known first if I was in my right mind. But after the Close Encounter with the doorframe, I was not with all of my faculties."

My Georgey. The peace maker.

They ranted and bantered back and forth for several minutes. Uncharacteristically, I piped down. My bubble had officially been burst. The horrible butterflies returned. Two people now knew, and neither had offered a genuine congratulations. Cristina wanted my surgeries, and Meredith was reiterating all the reasons this was bad, but no one was happy. The whole hospital knew, and there wasn't a single call. They were all too busy snickering behind my back. This is bad. Really, very bad.

I was going to puke.

After that little show of motherhood, I was certainly in no mood. But the world kept spinning on. I came from the bathroom pale and bleary eyed, knowing I couldn't hide forever.

Meredith looked up coyly.

"How goes it Mommy?"

Call it the hormones, but my mood switched up fast.

"Meredith, you may think I am a slut, or stupid, or whatever, but you can't make fun of me! Not anymore! I've heard it all for weeks, but I am so over it! I have made my mistakes-made my bed, but believe me, I am more than happy to lay in it! With George! With my frickin' baby! I am happy, dammit! And if you can't be happy for me, that's fine, but don't rain on my parade! My big, fat, PREGNANT, parade!"

I was exposed.

Two pairs of eyes looked backed at me with shock.

Despite my bravado, I was quickly quivering with tears.

"Izzie, my intent wasn't to be unkind, but this is less than ideal..."

"You mean like McDreamy ideal? You should be comfortable here. You are all about shunning ideal. So when I tell you I am pregnant, you should jump on the boat, not bawl me out. We can be McDamaged Mistresses together, or at least we could've been. You know, I was nice to you when Addison showed up. I kept my useless opinions to minimum. Could you extend that courtesy? Thanks.I need air."

With that I spun on my heel and left the building.

And just because I am apparently the joke of the universe, Alex had to stick his head out from his room and give his two cents.

"You knocked her up? Didn't know you had it in ya Bambi!"

I pushed his face back in his lair.

"Shove it, Karev! Go catch something from Nurse Olivia!"

Selfish and dramatic.

Ten points for me.


	6. Chapter 6

So I find myself here, post outburst, walking myself towards nowhere in particular. Besides the house, there is really nowhere to go except Joe's or the Hospital. I have no other friends. No other places to go. Not so hot for someone trying to make her great escape.

When I met my stopping point, where I could only go left for Seattle Grace or right, to Joe's, I opted for the bar.

Now don't be alarmed. I wasn't going in for a drink-because I think we all now know what a bad idea that is for me-but for a friendly face.

Joe is my friend. My friend with children. He has two tiny bundles of baby, and he couldn't be happier. Maybe he could find it in his heart to be happy for me.

I ran around to the back knowing that the front would be locked. I slipped past the beer vendors, and quietly made my way to the bar. He didn't even notice me until I was slumped on the counter.

"Hit me, Joe."

"Isn't it a little early, Iz?"

"Not for a lemonade."

"With a twist?"

"Very much without the twist."

"That's a girl. So you wanna tell me what brings you to the bar so early? Or do I get to guess?"

"Oh, trust me, you would never guess."

He passed her the glass. "Fight with George?"

"Not so much."

"Are the girls still picking on you? I know it sucks, but it's your price for love. Isn't it well worth it?"

"Oh they are picking away, but he makes it all okay."

"So what could be troubling my bubbly Izzie?"

"I have a big, big secret. Few know, but they aren't talking it well."

"You want to tell me?"

I looked up. Joe had halted his activity and was now leaning close to me. I took one giant breath, and I let it loose.

"Well, it just so happens that on that same, fateful night that brought us together...we made something together. We made a baby. I am having a baby. George and I are going to be parents and no one will be happy for us. I don't know what to do."

He looked off thoughtfully for a moment.

"Are you happy Izzie? Is George?"

"Yeah...I mean, I'm having a baby! Why would I be sad? George called me Mommy, Joe. He called me Mommy and told the baby 'Good Morning'! The timing is so off, but it feels so right."

Gripping my hands he replied, "Then you have nothing to be worried or sad about. You're right, the timing is bad, but babies are blessings. With everything that has gone down, you can't expect them to be sending you Diaper Genies and blankets. But, if it helps at all, I am happy for you. Walter will be happy for you. Even better, we can offer lots of help, y'know!"

I smiled for what felt like the first time in ages.

"It means everything, Joe. Thank You."

"So when can I expect to meet Baby Bumpkin?"

"I'm about eight weeks. A rough estimate says I should be having a Christmas baby."

He laughed aloud.

"Well, if that doesn't lend itself to one hell of a shower, I don't know what does!"

We went on like that,laughing, and sharing stories about babies and surgeries until George showed up an hour later.

He rushed up to me, hugging me close, almost as if checking that I was real and solid.

"Don't ever do that again."

I stood aback.

"What?"

"You don't get to do that. You don't get to be cold. You aren't the only one hurting,"

Joe slipped silently to his office to let us have it out.

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to."

I stared at him the longest time. I wondered idly if this was the end, even though I knew it wasn't. For once I had nothing. No anger, no comback, nothing. I waited until he spoke again.

"You said we would be okay."

"We are George..."

He cut me off quick.

"Now is my time to talk, Izzie. You said we would be okay. Even if it was just me, you, and the baby. What made that change? The talk hurts, but it is talk. It is not us. We have to be okay. You and this baby are all have left. I am a repeater who is divorcing the Chief Resident. I am that guy. The cheater who leaves his wife for the blond, stacked model. And that's okay, Izzie. Because I love you. But you have to be in this with me."

I was flabbergasted. His whole heart was there flopping on the floor for me to catch.

"I love you too, George."

"Are we okay?"

"We're okay."

For the longest time I clung to him and cried selfishly once again. I told him as much, but he was quick to correct me. He said he was the selfish one. Clinging to me tightly to fight off the ruins of his life.

For once, maybe I am not selfish at all.

At least not in his eyes.

And really isn't that all that matters?

I heard a tiny gurgle and coo. I looked up from his shoulder and there stood Joe, Walter, and the babies.

"I thought you could use a pick me up! Since you can'y have a beer..."

I reached greedily for one of the wriggling forms. I held her close to my heart and kissed her tiny little hands.

I think we will be okay after all.


	7. Chapter 7

The towers hulked like giants against the angry, pouring sky. The lights glared flourescent, and a buzz tittered ominously from inside. I looked at the etched stone beside me.

"Welcome to Hell."

Scratch that.

"Welcome to Seattle Grace Hospital!"

Really, they are practically synomynous. I so did not want to go in. Sadly, there was no choice. Not if I didn't want this kid wearing potato sacks and begging on the street corner. So, I told myself to be brave, sucked it up, and went inside.

I knew that they knew.

They knew, that I knew, that they knew, but no one said a word to my face.

People snickered and made sly remarks when I was in ear shot. The Bitch Brigade was in full force like a bully in the schoolyard. I did good though. I stayed brave. I had to. For me, for George, for the baby. Basically to preseve our "okayness". So I ignored them, took care of my patients, and bided my time. I had my secret happiness to make it better anyways.

In an hour I would see George. When I saw George, we would go see Doctor Rogers. Then, we could hear our baby's heart beat, see the life in my belly. There on a slip of photo paper would be all of our hopes and dreams. I was in love all over again. Besides, if I made it all day, what was sixty more minutes?

I had spoken too soon.

With just forty-five more minutes to go, I ran into the one person I had tried to avoid all day. The one person who had a right to have an opinion of me and George. The only one I had a reason to worry about.

Callie.

Callie who was standing at the Nurse's Station with her arms crossed angrily. It was then that World War III began...at least in my mind. She opened with a deathly low tone that became a crescendo.

"Stevens! Just who the hell do you think you are?"

I stood ready for the fallout.

"Where do you get off stealing my marriage and then getting pregnant by my husband? Do you have any respect? Do you have any concept of low key? We haven't even filed papers for divorce yet! Here you are, Izzie Friggin' Stevens, you think you own the world. You think you do, but you don't. I own you. At least here I do.You can wreck my personal life, then drag it into my workplace. Hell, you've pretty much the same for yourself. Bravo. But I can do it better, Princess. I know Candy Striping really cramps the sex romps in the on-call room, but I am sure you'll find a way."

I stood there and took it. I had no right to not.

"I understand."

"Oh no! You don't ever get to say those words! You understand nothing! Enjoy your life. Maybe we can talk about you being a real doctor when you're done playing house with my husband. But tell me-are you planning on keeping this one?"

"How did you know?"

"You know, I was married to George once upon a time. He told me things. Like how perfect Izzie Stevens got knocked up in a trailer in Chalis and gave her away."

And that was it. I met the wall. I couldn't hold back anymore.

"You can say what you want to about me, Callie, and that's fine. You can hate me, you can punish me, yell at me, make me do enemas for seven months, but you do not get to bring her into this. Hannah did not do anything to you. She is not part of this situation. No matter what you think you know, you know nothing. I am sorry I screwed up your life, but it's done."

"You're right. I hate you, I hate..."

Blessedly, Bailey intervened.

"Dr. Torres. Just about to page you. They need an ortho consult in OR 2. Dr. Stevens, I need you to come with me."

Callie stormed away as Bailey lead me dumbly to the on-call room.

"Sit yourself down. Do you realize that this is a hospital and not Jeery Springer? What do you think you are doing? You slept with your boss' husband, Izzie. This means you do not get to fight her. You do not get to be mad. You people and your affairs, bed hopping, cat fights. Makes me sick. You're silly. But I am proud of you. You took your lickings, but you didn't let her take advantage of you and your unfortunate situation."

She paused.

"So is it true?"

"What? You mean you don't know? I mean everybody..."

"Yeah, yeah. Everybody is talking. You're popular. I hear it all, but I don't listen till I know. So is it true? Are you having O'Malley's baby?"

"Yeah. It's true."

"Good for you. I don't know that you people having a place with a child with all your smelling in the elevators and mating in my supply closets, but good for you. I think you will be a good mother, Izzie. You have the right stuff. Here's the deal. Saltines and orange juice everyday before you get out of bed. Everyone is watching, and Callie wants you to give her a reason, don't add puking to the show."

"Thank you, Bailey."

"Now get on. Didn't I see you on Dr. Rogers roster in fifteen minutes? You better run. I'm getting out of here. People will start talking if I am in here with you much longer, and I can't be ruining my reputation."

She smiled and left.

With the worst over, and the best to come, things weren't so bad.

Dr. Sloan walked in smirking.

"So, O'Malley, huh?"

I pushed him away.

"Shove it, Sloan."


	8. Chapter 8

-1Bailey thinks that I am foolish, obnoxious, and maybe a little loose. She is hard and honest, the things she said cut like a razor, so when she said I would be a good mother I could believe her. That made me feel good.

Callie, she did not make me feel so good. She was cunning and cruel. As a desperate woman, she used what she had. I get that. But using Hannah was going to far. I wondered if I should tell George about the showdown. It would be all over the hospital before my appointment ended.

When I reached the lobby, I found George looking fresher and younger than he had in weeks. He was clutching a teddy bear and a bouquet of daisies. He deserved the chance to be happy before he found out. There was no reason to ruin our first appointment. I pulled the rolled up t-shirt out of my lab coat pocket.

George beamed at me when he saw me and swooped in for a kiss.

"These are for you Mommy. Mr. Bear here is for the little one."

"Spoiling already, Daddy?"

"Only the people I love."

I smirked.

"At least we are on the same page 'Super Dad'."

I handed him the rolled up shirt so he could see the logo.

"Super Dad, huh?"

"Yep. Just like your Dad."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

I grabbed his hand as we made our way across the hall to Dr. Rogers office.

About five minutes in, it was obvious the whole office knew about our affair…you know, besides the fact we came into the office together. I started to get nervous, but George just looked at me with all of his pride and love, and it was gone. He truly is a remarkable man.

I impatiently went through all the routine things. I know histories are important, but they are so damn tedious. The weigh in was a little painful, but I was all good. To top it off, George had brought his damn camera to document EVERYTHING. He really does kill me sometimes.

We had finally arrived to the golden moment though. Dr. Rogers pressed the Doppler to my stomach and the room filled with a serenade of fluid and thumping noises. Our sweet baby in surround sound. I cried a little as he rubbed jelly against my stomach and began the sonogram.

Sometimes it's really great to be a doctor. Like when you can look a pulsating, pea-sized blob in your uterus and actually make out the flutter of the heart and the outline of the baby's tiny skull. We were glued to the imaged, just mesmerized imagining the tiny baby in our arms.

Dr. Rogers finally spoke.

"Dr. Stevens, O'Malley, given the, um, situation, I think we should discuss stress and the repercussions it can have on your health as well as the baby's."

I reached out and gently traced the monitor.

"There is no stress. Not anymore."

"I heard about your encounter with Dr. Torres and…"

"Dr. Torres has a right to be angry, but we have a right to be happy. Nothing is stopping either one in our ventures."

"Dr. Stevens."

"Excuse me, Jim. You were just in my vagina. I think we can work with first names now."

George piped up.

"Stop deflecting, Iz. What is he talking about?"

"She yelled, I took it. She had every right, George. She can make my job suck, but she can't fire me. She can't take the good out of this for us. We're okay, remember?"

Not much else was left to be said. I could tell they were both a little perturbed, but I couldn't help it. I dressed and he walked me to my car.

"You know that Callie can't treat you like this."

"She kind of can and will, but we're good. Maybe in ten years it could become excessive, but right here and now, we deserve this."

"You should probably know that I filed today. Before the appointment."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. It was time to put it in black and white that my priorities are straight. I don't want any confusion."

"I've never been confused."

"Well then, it's time to show the world.".

No words could properly express that moment. I could only hold him and kiss him, tell him one more time that I love him and let him get to his shift.

I was ready to go home, make amends with Mer, catch a movie and sleep.

Something smelled so heavenly when I came in that I could barely handle it.

"Mer? Meredith? Are you home? "

The shock of my night came right then. Mrs. O'Malley came out of the kitchen with a food laden tray.

"Oh, Izzie honey! You look like you are doing better! Meredith is in the shower, but she said to make myself right at home."

"Huh?"

"Oh, well George called and said you had been under the weather. Hardly cooking or eating, sick all day long. I just had to come past with some of my soup, but it looks like I am too late! You look just fine! So what's new with you? Give me the scoop! And tell me, do you know why George's things are here again?"

Oh crap.


	9. Chapter 9

Oh crap.

Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.

George had told me he took care of this. That his mom knew that it was over for them. He didn't tell her about us yet, so she would have time to process. When she had accepted it, he would be sending her that card he got in the hospital gift shop that congratulated her on her new nanahood with a copy of the picture in my hand.

Oh crap.

I have a picture of a fetus in my hand. Not just a fetus. Our fetus. In my hand. I had to think quick.

"That soup smells great!" and I began to ravish the tray. And slip the picture between the cushions. It was my only option.

"Have some saltines, Izzie. They settle the stomach like a wonder."

Saltines? Seriously? Did she know? No, she couldn't know. She is a mother, she just knows about upset stomachs. I took the crackers with the least suspicious smile I could muster.

"Now tell me about my George. You know you can tell me anything. I won't say a word."

"Oh no, no! With all due respect you about got me and my mouth nearly dead the last time I told you anything, Louise."

"I guess that is true. I honestly just thought he was shacking up with you and Meredith though. I even made me peace with that. I had no idea about the truth. I really didn't mean to get you in trouble, I was just sure I really did know what was going on in his life."

She paused.

"I have no clue, do I? He's divorcing his wife, living back here...I just know I am missing something. I just want to know that my baby is okay."

A serene smile passed on her lips.

"That's not right. I know he's okay. He's got you, sweetheart. The best friend any mother could ask for."

I couldn't take it any more. It was like she was putting the screws to me without knowing it. Her delightful stew sudden chocked my throat. I don't know if it was the baby or the guilt, but dinner was over for me once again. I pushed Meredith out of my way in my rush. In fact, I barely registered. I just puked my guts out until I couldn't puke anymore.

Meredith reached out to me with a cool rag.

"I do not envy you, Izzie."

I rolled my eyes.

"I get it. I'm awful. Can we not do this now?"

"No, we do this now. You two have messed up, and I don't get it. But you are my friend, Iz. You don't always have to get your friends, just be there. So I am here. You can call me Auntie. I'll even carry a shank for the next showdown with Callie. Just keep me in the loop, okay?"

"Sure."

"Now get up. I assume Mama doesn't know? That's what I thought. We need to fake your flu and put you to bed without her trying to hover. Hovering will equal her discovery of your Hello Kitty underpants next to George's fishy boxers, and we can't have that."

She pulled me up and gave me what little affection she could muster at the moment.

"Oh, God! I just left her in the living room with my Sonogram picture between the cushions!"

Her eyes grew wide.

"Seriously? Um, um...okay! Hang out here for a minute. I will go sit by her, tell her you'll be out in a minute, and snag the picture. See you in a minute! Try not to puke anymore! We'll divert disaster!"

There are times when you truly appreciate your friends, and now was one of those times. I pulled out my phone to call George while I had time.

"Why, hellooo, Dr. Stevens! What a pleasant surprise!"

"Save it George. Your mom is here. She was trying to feed me when your kid made me spew the stew. What are we going to do?"

"My mom is at the house?"

"Yes! And she wants details, George. About you. Then she said she woudn't have to worry if I didn't tell her, because you have me. How harsh is that? She's calling me Mary Freakin' Poppins, and I am her son's secret, dirty, mistress! Help!"

"Umm, let me think. Nope. I've got nothing. Where's Meredith?"

"In the living room telling your mom I have the flu."

"That's good. We can work with that. The flu is good. Tell her you need to go to bed. I'll call and distract her in about ten minutes. It'll be okay. Put your phone on vibrate and I will call you when it's all clear."

I snapped my phone shut. Time to make it look real.

I went in wearily, holding a rag to my reddened face. I let her feel me for fever and generally cluck about my illness. With some finnagling I was able to convince her it would be bad for her to take me to my germ filled room. Thanks to George's call, I was able to make a quick escape.

Worn out, I almost really did fall alseep. I didn't even notice when Mrs. O'Malley slipped in. She went undetected as she put away piles of laundry, and picked up clothing for the hamper, until she sat down beside me on the bed. Still, I feigned sleep. Maybe she would go away.

"Open your eyes, Izzie Stevens, I know you are not asleep."

My eyes shot open in fright. It was like being caught sneaking out in high school. I guess it is a mother thing.

"I was disappointed when George told me he was divorcing. I didn't want him to have a broken marriage. I would be lying though, if I said I thought they were a match. Don't get me wrong-Callie is a sweet girl, but she was never for my Georgey. That was all his father. George loved him so much, he just couldn't bear to think he was disappointing him. I always thought you two were a better match. Oh, you two look hilarious together. His father and I used to make fun of you two all the time. Girls that look like you have never paid attention to our son, but you were like two peas in a pod. Always on the phone together baking cookies, knitting sweaters. Before he sent us the first picture, we thought this gorgeous girl he was describing was really some mousy-looking girl. You are a stunner, though, and sweet to boot. So, frankly, Callie was a shock to me. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her, she's a gorgeous girl herself, but a mother knows, Izzie, a mother knows."

I didn't know what she was getting at, but I felt so sad. Maybe she was stirring the mother in me, who knows, but I began to cry a little. Being a mother, she pulled my head to her lap and began stroking my hair.

"Does your mother know, Izzie? About the baby?"

I gasped. I didn't even know which one she meant at this point.

"I don't mean to pry, but when I see a young one hiding hands behind their backs, I get suspicious. There was a mirror behind you, I could make out that it was a Sonogram photo."

"She doesn't know. We haven't talked in a long while."

"When George told me how sick you were, I could almost guess right away. Even though he's a doctor, he's a little naive to these things. You definitely can't tell by looking at you. When I was pregnant, I was a mess right away, but you look like you are holding up well. Besides all the throwing up."

My phone began to vibrate and glow. She reached for it.

"Not now, George. Izzie will call you later. We are having girl talk. I love you, but for right now you need to go busy yourself elsewhere. Goodbye!"

This was when I became convinced that she was going to kill me. Mama O'Malley just shut down my connection to George like she was working a blockade for the North.

"Silly, boy. Now where were we?"

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh, yes. So tell me,will the father be around? Not to be cold, but I am guessing 'no' since George is living in your room and not him? That's okay. My boy will take good care of you and your little one. He is so much like my Harold. I hope you will let him help you out. This could be just what he needs in all this divorce mess."

I had no place making this decision without George, but I couldn't lie to her. Not with her tending to me like one of her own. It was now or never.

"No, he will be around. He doesn't mind George, because he is George, Louise. Please don't hate me, and don't get angry with George, but he is the father of my baby."

She sat perfectly still for a moment. Not a word, or a sound, or a breath. Just still. After a moment, she resumed stroking my hair.

"Bingo."

"Huh?"

"I knew he was hiding something, and I knew he was in love with you. Bingo. I win. I told you I know everything about my son."

"You don't hate me?"

"You probably broke up his marriage, but it was going to happen anyways. At least I get a pretty grandbaby. You would have been in way more trouble if you kept this from me tonight. So when were you going to tell me, anyways?"

"George wanted to let you soak in the divorce, then let you know about us and the baby. He bought you a card."

"How thoughtful. I am a teacher. Does he think I can't do the math of nine months?"

"He's George. He knew it would all work out."

"And it did."

She kissed my forehead.

"Will you tell Meredith to bring in the picture of my grandchild that she was so poorly hiding? The girl is all skin and bones. She couldn't hide an amoeba."

I went to the door only to find Meredith and Cristina crouching by the door.

"What are you doing?"

"I brought my shank. Just in case."

"I brought a scalpel in case you needed emergency surgery."

"Thanks for the bright sunny thoughts."

We all piled on the bed and looked at the small picture. We talked about which George or Izzie parts the baby would have. Meredith threatened to knit a sweater. Cristina lamented on the very, baby Christmas we were about to share, and Louise? She laughed and joked as she gave us enough ammo on George to last a lifetime.

It's good to have friends and family.

Very good indeed.


	10. Chapter 10

Just a minor wait! I had one of those brutal close/open shifts that prevented me from updating again last night! But here it is! I appreciate your sweet comments so much!! I hope you enjoy! This is just a little light fun until I have more time to write a proper chapter...

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Once upon a time, I had a mother.

The kind that would walk me to the bus stop, bake me cookies when I came home, and kiss me before I went to bed. I had no father, and my environment was more than bleak, but somehow she made it all okay. She was so wonderful. When I was a child I often imagined that she was a fairy. Everything she did was touched with magic and delight. I miss that so much in times like these, that I often dream about being that little girl once again.

That's why when I awoke the morning after our impromptu slumber party with Louise, I was fraught with sleepy confusion. I literally could smell the scent, and hear the sounds of yesteryear. I almost expected to wake up in my tiny bed, instead of the spacious one I shared with George.

But, no.

I was at home at Meredith's.

Home here in my grown up body, where I know fairy magic isn't real.

Yet I opened my eyes, and I found the blankets tucked tight around my arms, and Bailey's prescribed OJ and saltines on the bed table. Someone besides myself was cooking away downstairs, humming and laughing with Meredith and Cristina.

Mmm.

I could smell pancakes and sausage.

Maybe I was in heaven? Maybe fairy magic is real after all?

After I drank my glass of juice and had a few crackers, I made my way to the kitchen. I am happy to report that it definitely diminished the queasies.

Like a dream, there stood Louise at the stove, looking quite contempo casual, and sporting my apron. She was making the girls laughed once again, and she looked so much like home that I almost cried. Even Cristina was a little warmer than normal. George's family might have been of modest means, but they were beyond rich in love.

It struck me how lucky my baby would be to have her for a grandmother. I could practically see chubby baby legs running for her as she made smiley-face pancakes and milk cups the morning after sleepovers. They would be quite a pair making Christmas cookies, stringing up popcorn garland, and caroling. Louise would never miss a play, or a Halloween, and be the Nana my far away mother could never be.

Almost like she could sense my thoughts, she turned around with a smile and a hug.

"I never thought you'd wake up, sleepyhead! Did you drink your juice and nibble your crackers?"

"Yes."

"Much better, huh? Come sit down and I'll make your plate. Are you up for all the breakfast fixings, or should I make you oatmeal?"

"I'll take pancakes. You don't have to make anything else."

"Oh, I've missed this. Only better. I have girls now!"

We tucked into our meal with gusto. Not another word was needed until Louise spoke again.

"You know girls that George will have to pay for trying to fool his mother."

We all looked at her in confusion.

"So, I think I will stay in town for the day. Not a word to him though. If he asks about last night, change the subject. He deserves a little worry after the way he has been worrying me. Izzie, just tell him I'll be by for lunch. Remember girls, not a word. We're gonna get my Georgey good! Now run along and get dressed! You're gonna be late to work!"

We all went our separate ways, as we all really were running late.

George finally found me around ten, just two hours before Louise would have here revenge.

"Izzie! Where have you been? Why didn't you call me back? Why did my mother hang up on me, on your phone?"

I played it as aloof as I could.

"She's coming here for lunch at noon to meet us. Be ready."

"Why do we have to be ready? Why did she call a meeting? It's never good when she calls a meeting! What happened last night?"

"I've got rounds. See you at tweleve."

He looked so lost. Truly confused with my demeanor. But it was a little delicious to make him sweat it out. Plus, with Louise being so wonderful, I couldn't let her down. So I let it go. He dogged Meredith for the next two hours, but like a trooper she kept quiet. Except about Cristina being there too, so that he would go bother her.

We all gathered at the lunch table at noon. I wondered exactly what she would do with him. Thankfully, I didn't have to wait long.

"George O'Malley! Come explain yourself right now young man!"

He looked absolutely panicked.

"You told her Iz?"

"Do not look to Izzie. You've apparently done enough of that. You talk to me."

"Well, Mom..."

"Out with it."

"I...I love her Mom. No explanation needed. I just love her. I love the life we will be leading."

She sat in thought a minute.

"Good answer. But you ought to be ashamed of yourself."

"But I'm not Mom. I love Izzie and she loves me."

"Better answer. Don't ever try to hide something from me ever again."

"I won't, Mom. In fact..."

"I already know, George."

"Oh."

She dropped the facade and began to laugh. She opened up her jacket to reveal a shirt that read "Nana's know best!".

"I knew so much, I bought a shirt!"

Meredith, Cristina, and I serenaded him with a "Gotcha!".

He slumped down by his tray.

"Scratch that. I HATE YOU IZZIE!"

"Never leave me alone with your mother, lover. We will bake, we will hot glue, and we will eventually get you!"

"So you are okay with this Mom?"

"Yeah. I'm okay."

"Good."

He grabbed my hand and started questioning her about back home.

Once upon a time I had a mother, and it didn't last. But now, I have something better than I could've dreamed.


	11. Chapter 11

So, I know I promised not to do the whole write then nothing routine, but I do have a valid reason. First, I was working on a charity bingo for cancer...pretty important right? That night we found out that my cousin's first husband died of an overdose. Making it worse is that her current husband refuses to hear a word of it, so we spent our night furitively texting whenever he was out of the room. Ex or not, this was a tragic shock. And, sound the trumpets, I got "let go" yesterday. I need therapy. The writers kind. So I will be writing you at least two chapters today, if not three. I hope you enjoy!  
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At five months, it finally felt like things were finally coming together for George and I.

After enduring his "repeater" status for a month or two, the other interns relaized what kind of resource they were looking at. George really was the man. That man with answers, the kow how, the skills. His nerves had already hardened. He could answer questions for them that they felt silly asking residents and, like it or not, he could go solo and have more slack to do so than your average intern.

Callie, hadn't really come around by any means. She certainly wasn't knitting booties and rubbing my belly, but she was leaving me to the clinic for the most part. I was okay with that. The clinic was probably best in the long run because it was easier on the baby and my body.

Our friends came too. One at time, they warmed in their own way. Derek one day showed up at the house with an essay on the neurological development of the fetus, and a set of pacifiers that he swore helped his sisters survive their children. Mark brought me a hot cup of cider and wished me lots of luck with my two children-George and the baby. He even let me in on a facial reconstruction that was unbelievable. Of all the surprises, even Addison had called with congratulations and an offer to be on call if I needed her.

And me you ask?

I was living a happy, hungry life with my ever growing belly. I couldn't stay away from those pregnancy sites where you could check the daily development of your baby. At night I was consumed by baby name books until George would kiss me goodnight and take them away for a nights sleep.

That's the reason I never saw it coming.

One day I was clicking happily away to a few of my favorite sites when a bubble popped up announcing a new email. No problem, right?

Wrong.

It was Hannah.

Not that Hannah is bad. Hannah is good. I just didn't expect what I found inside.

_Dear Izzie,_

_It is Izzie, right? That's what my mom and dad told me your name was at least. I wanted you to know I did get your card the day of my surgery. I guess you know since I am writing you now._

_I guess I should say that I am sorry for not seeing you. Mom said that I should be thankful for you everyday. Thankful for my life, thankful for giving me away to my parents, thankful for the bone marrow. But if I am honest, I'm not._

_Everytime I watch one of those Lifetime Movies, the mother can't give her baby away. So how could you? Why did you not want to be my mother?_

_When Dr. O'Malley came in the next day to check my vitals, he mentioned something about me being so much like this friend of his. He smiled at me and told me about her eyes, and lips, and how she liked to bake brownies. He told me her name was Izzie, and she was the best person he had ever met. I wonder what he would think if he knew the truth? That is if you are the Izzie he mentioned._

_I don't mean to be mean, but I guess I just don't get it._

_Mom said that it would be nice of me to visit you just once. I will be at Seattle Grace Hospital tomorrow at 10 a.m. if you want to meet me. I think I am ready now, if you are._

_Hannah_

I didn't even know what to say.

She was so young, but she seemed so wise, even bitter in her own way.

DId I do this to her?

I was biting my lip in concentration as Bailey came up behind me.

"Are you wasting even more of this hospital's time on these ridiculous baby sites? Let me help you. It is a baby. It grows. Does something different everyday. Give it another month or so and you will e wishing that your child never learned to move."

"Bailey, Hannah wrote me."

She softened ever so slightly.

"What did she have to say?"

"Thanks, she guesses, but that she doesn't get why I didn't keep her. It sounds like her mother coerced her into inviting me to meet her tomorrow."

"Are you going?"

"I don't know."

"So you don't know that she deserves to hear answers from her mother?"

"She seems so upset with me. What if my answers aren't enough?"

"What if? What if! What if you never get another chance? Snap out of this Stevens. You've been able to handle yourself like a grown woman for months now. Why the babbling intern act? You need to make peace with this baby before you give birth to the one inside of you."

She huffed away, convinced I was an idiot once again. Just like the old days.

I forwarded the message to George, and then replied to Hannah.

_I'll be there._

Withing a few minutes, George appeared in the clinic.

"So that was Hannah? Really, really Hannah?"

"I guess so."

"You said yes right?"

"Yeah."

"Then why so down?"

"Read between the lines George. She is not happy with me."

"But at least she is giving you something."

"True."

"Do you want me to come with you? I think she and I had a rapport. Mother like daughter. Neither can resist me!"

After an extreme bout of laughter, which I am sure he didn't appreciate, I asked the one question I had been dying to know.

"Why didn't you tell me you had gone to see Hannah?"

"I didn't know if you would want me to, but I was compelled to. There she was, this tiny little Izzie, and I just had to know her. She wouldn't see you, but I wanted her to know you too. She makes it seem like I was just blathering with overshare, but she asked questions too. Hannah wanted to know about my Izzie's hair, and favorite pizza, just anything. I even showed her a picture you. I figured she knew, but didn't want me to know. Are you mad?"

"No, but I wish I had known."

"So, me and you? Tomorrow at ten in Oncology Room Five?"

"You checked the schedule?"

"Had to. She wasn't very concise."

"George, I am scared."

"I know, but it'll be okay."


	12. Chapter 12

I was already pacing the Oncology Floor by 9:30 a.m. the next day. I was adamant that I couldn't miss a second with Hannah.

Here we were, last chance, last draw. If I didn't impress her now, somehow, I would most certainly lose the chance forever. My stomach was in knots. George had left me five minutes before, unable to take the pacing and muttering, citing the fact he had to go het our baby some Xanax to make it through the day.

At 9:50 I got my payoff.

Before my eyes was the most beautiful, slender little girl. She had tufts of freshly regrown blonde hair sticking out from under a Coach Fisherman cap, and a bright yellow backpack in her hands. I literally gasped with the sight she was to my eyes. Hannah, despite her palor and indicators of disease, looked so vital and wonderful to me.

She looked at me almost suspiciously. Her backpack stopped twisting.

"You're Izzie. You're the girl in Dr. O'Malley's picture."

"Yes. Yes I am, Hannah."

There was this horrible pause.

We just eyed each other with curiosity.

George rushed in, probably realizing he has seen her and could be late. When I turned to him for guidance, my lab coat flapped open exposing by pregnant form.

"Are you having another baby, Izzie?"

My hands went unconciously to my belly.

"Yeah."

"Do you love this baby?"

"Yeah."

I looked down at her eyes filling with tears.

"So are you giving this one away too?"

She took off like a streak down the hallway. George ran for her, but I knew in my heart that she was gone. Her parents took off shortly there after mumbling apologies and saying it wasn't such a good idea while tears spilled down my cheeks. I couldn't do anything right.

It wasn't until hours later that I received a page saying they still hadn't found her. I honestly didn't know why they bothered, it wasn't like if they did find her that I would be doing anything good for her.

I went on, wheeling my gurney down to the tombs when I heard a slight sniffling. I looked to my right, and I could just barely make out the edge of a bright yellow backpack. I gently pushed my cart to the side and moved to sit atop the empty gurney Hannah was under.

"I know you don't understand it, but I loved you too, Hannah. I even named you in the quiet. I called you Sarah, and I kissed your chubby little cheeks, and I almost died when I gave you away. But I was sixteen years old, and that may seem grown now, but I was just a scared little girl myself. I was living in a dirty trailer park with a mother who couldn't keep it together and no father. I wanted to keep you. It wasn't fair to me that I couldn't, but it would have been more unfair that you would have to live the same way. I could have never given you bright yellow backpacks, or the life that your parents have. And, no, I won't be giving this baby away. It doesn't seem right, or feel right that I had to give you away and that I have a life to give this baby now. As wrong as it is, this is how it happened."

Her voice floated up.

"Why didn't I have a father? Why didn't you?"

"My dad left my mom when she was six months pregnant for greener pastures. Your dad left me when I told him I was pregnant. He was more interested in fast cars than he was in pregnant girlfriends."

"Ouch."

"I know."

"What about this baby?"

"What about it?"

"Does this baby have a dad?"

"Yeah. The baby's dad is George. Well, you know him as Dr. O'Malley."

"He said you two were the best of friends."

"We are. Plus some."

"Will he be a good dad?"

"The best kind. Probably just like your dad. He is so in love with this baby. Just like your dad was the day he picked you up."

Her sweet little face popped from underneath the bed.

"Dr. O'Malley says we look just alike. Who do we look like?"

"Well, you look like me, and I look like my mom."

"Do you have a good life now? Compared to whatever it was before?"

"I do have a good life. I modeled for a while to pay for my schooling and then I ended up here. I found three of the best friends and you."

She crawled up to sit by me.

"I have a good life too. Sometimes, though, I wonder what my life would have been like with you. Maybe even now. You know all of these neat people, and now you are having a baby. I always wanted a brother or sister, but my parents couldn't have any."

"In a way Hannah, you do have a brother or sister."

I put her hand on my stomach, and like a cue, the baby gave a good hard kick. She laughed and rubbed the spot where she felt the movement.

About that time George came flying around the corner.

"Thank God I found you! Did you get my page? Hannah is gone!"

I squeezed her close.

"She's right here George. Call her parents." 


	13. Chapter 13

So here's a new little nugget. Not much in the way of moving my plot, but a nice little stop on the countryside. I felt an undying urge to make them more than combatants, parents, and dramatic figures. To make a love affair real, alas, you must have a love affair. More than declarations! J Hope ya enjoy!

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I was sad to see Hannah have to go the next day after her appointment. No matter how tenuous it was, I had a real connection with her now. Not just that I gave birth so many years before, but one where we shared likes and dislikes, hopes and dreams. However, if I was honest, I was worn out from all the tension.

That evening I went home with the intention of hours upon hours of sleep. I had a fresh box of bath powder, a brand new book that was, for once, not about babies, and a "Do Not Disturb" sign permanently etched on my face. Oh yeah, and a box of chicken. With Tabasco. And brownies. What? I was pregnant! But when I made it to my room, it appeared like there was a whole new plan.

My room was lit up with the lights of soft, white candles. There were trails of daisies, all leading to a massive mural of pictures of me and George. It was all like a little too much after the past couple of days.

He came smiling in the room. Sadly, my tears turned it almost immediately to a frown.

"What's wrong, Izzie?"

"You" sob "are so" sob "good to me!"

I leaned against him and cried it out. All of my hormones, sadness, and frustration spilled out on his shoulder. He was so good, when I didn't feel like I was good at all. For God's sake, he made a mural! He brought me daisies, and candles, and I was crying!

"We don't have to do this now. I thought you just might need a pick me up after everything with Hannah…"

"But what about you, George? What do you need? You bring me romance, and food, and I cry! That is not the proper response!"

"It's okay because you're…"

"Pregnant? That can't be my excuse all the time. I trample on Callie, and you, and you…you do this! Believe me when I say it is beautiful, but what about you? What do you get?"

"I get you."

"No, you get pieces of me. You get to back me up, defend me, feed me, but I don't feel like I'm giving you much at all."

He looked at me long and serious.

"So what do you mean?"

All of a sudden, I felt warm and electric like I had not in months. Forget a bath and a book, I think I needed this. I leaned towards him to capture his lips.

"Let me make love to you."

"Are you sure? You're upset. You don't have to. Pieces are good. Pieces are better than nothing…"

I kissed him again.

"Shut up George. There are some pieces I want right now, but they do not involve talking."

Nothing more needed to be said.

We made love like we hadn't in a while. It was all lights, and sounds, and wonder. For the first time, In a long time, I felt like I was giving.

Giving felt very, very good.

In the afterglow, we returned to that former George and Izzie. We shared quiet jokes, and stories, and laughed when our baby moved as George tickled my belly. Later, we rested our heads without worry.

And in the still, I watched as he snored and smiled. I curled deeper into him.

It hit me suddenly that I wouldn't ever really need to rely on bath powders, or books to make things better.

When things became hard, we could lean in to one another. We could be happy equals, and not need more. I was wasting precious moments worrying otherwise.

Now I fell deep asleep, snoring and smiling, never knowing that he was awake and watching me.


	14. Chapter 14

So, OMG, I have decided that I officially love you all! I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read my stories, and then to leave reviews with such kind words just blows my mind! Everytime I open my email it's like Christmas! lol To snag a little pharasing from Mariah Carey, "I thank ya, I love ya, and I appreciate ya!" I dedicate this chapter to my cousin who is going through all of the drama with her ex being, well, dead. Here is an instance where life has taken my plot and colored it like a four year old with a magic marker. Events have been changed, but the same idea is here. Plus, I don't think there has ever been anything really said about Hannah's father. I might as well write about him, right? Enjoy! 

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Somewhere my phone rang.

Some where my phone rang in the middle of the night, and I couldn't care less.

I was snuggly warm with George, I finally had gotten comfortable which was becoming a rare occurance, and I didn't want what was on the line. Phone calls at night only spell trouble, and I had had enough. So I was prepared to let it ring on. Just this once, there are other doctors, other problem solvers, anyone else but me.

Ten seconds later, the house phone began to ring frantically.

I clamped my eyes tightly shut. Hear no evil, see no evil, right?

Wrong.

Meredith trudged in the room and threw the cordless at me.

"She says it's urgent."

"Who?"

"I don't know. It's three in the morning. Your call. Goodnight."

Meredith stalked away to recapture her sleep. I thought about just hanging up. I was so unbelievably tired.

"Hello?"

"Cricket?"

My heart stopped. I hadn't heard her voice, and that name in ages. It was like a blasting, cold wind in the middle of an Indian Summer. I was froze.

"Cricket? Are you there? Is that you?"

"Umm, yeah, Mom. It's me."

"I hate to call you so late, but there is something I have to tell you."

"What is it?"

"It's Billy."

"What about him?"

"His mother just called me. He's dead, Cricket. He's gone."

I choked and gasped. It was worse than being hit with a ton of bricks. Nothing would come out.

"She said that there was a wreck. He was drunk, it was dark, and there was a median he apparently never saw. The funeral will be in two days, if you want to come. I really think that you should."

"I...I...I don't know. I will have to think on it."

"I don't think you should have to."

"And I don't think you get to have an opinion, Mom. Goodnight."

I was so awful and cold that it almost didn't feel like me. But her orders and opinions started to stifle me as my emotions sped out of control. I just wanted to be back asleep. I wanted to hide in that warmth I had lost, but tears were spilling coldly down my cheeks.

George's eyes were still shut. His voice was thick with sleep.

"Izzie?"

I fought hard to control my sobs.

"Go back to sleep."

"Are you crying?"

"It's nothing George."

"Then why is the phone ringing at this obscene hour and making you cry?"

"He's dead George."

His eyes suddenly snapped open, and he turned to me.

"Who?"

"Billy."

"Billy?"

"Hannah's father. Her biological one at least."

"He's dead? How?"

"He was driving drunk, and wrecked into a median."

"Are you okay?"

"I don't know."

By the grim set of his face, I could tell he was ready to say something I wouldn't like. I tried to steel myself, but I knew there would be no preparation.

"Why wouldn't you be? How many years has it been since you talked to him? I mean, since he left you pregnant?"

"You don't get to say that George!"

"I'm just asking a valid question. Why would you care after all of the heartache?"

"Because he was the boy next door! Because he was my first real boyfirend! Because, like it or not, he was Hannah's father!"

"He never cared about Hannah!"

"But he was her father! Nothing erases that! God, why am I even making excuses to you!"

"I don't know why you are making excuses. You need to get back in bed and forget this whole mess. I would think it would be like a salvation from your past. You never have to think about, or worry about, him ever again."

I started to get dressed angrily.

"So you wouldn't care if Callie died?"

"That's different."

"How? She's your ex! She's a bad part of your past!"

"She isn't a bad part of my past!"

"Oh that's right! All the bad came with that slut Izzie Stevens! Because you were having a grand old time!"

"I'm not saying that! It's just, she's not bad,because it wasn't her fault how things happened!"

"So, you get to grieve because we screwed up? But I don't get to?"

"What is there to grieve about him? You have never said his name! The few things you told me have been horrible! Why would you care?"

"Think about it George! When you break up, you never remember anything good! Everything is always bad! Sometimes it isn't always an accurate picture!"

"So he was some saint? Saint Leave-His-Kid?"

"I never said that. But break ups, and deaths, they color your perception no matter what. What about your dad? He was great, don't get me wrong, but after he died, how did you see him? He was an idol, he was perfect! Suddenly all the things you told me during late nights about the long drives, and the drinking were gone! And that is fine, George! That's how we grieve, and make everything okay again."

"Don't bring my dad into this."

"Just an example. Sorry, but I think that's the only way you will see. Death makes you care when you maybe shouldn't. I'm not excusing him, and he was nothing like your dad, but I can't stop caring. The way he treated me when I was pregnant stopped me from telling you any of the good parts. Please, just understand!"

"Well, I'm sorry. I don't."

I picked up my purse.

"I'm sorry that you don't. That still won't stop me."

"Where are you going?"

"The hospital to see if the Chief is in yet."

"Why?"

"So I can ask for a days leave to go to the funeral."

"I don't want to put you in this position, but I have to. As your boyfriend, as the father of our child, I have to ask you to not go."

"As respectfully as I can, I have to tell you that you don't get a choice. You may never understand it, but I have to do this. I'm going there to face up to my past, Billy, my mom. Somewhere down the line I know that having this chance will somehow save our family a lot of pain."

I turned around and left. I knew if I didn't do it now, then I wouldn't go ever. I would just shut my mouth, and we would never say anything about him again. Maybe I would find myself with pictures in the middle of the night, or calling old friends to talk about it. If I couldn't stand up to George now, or tell him the truth, I would be crippling our future somehow.

I just hoped that he would see it that way someday soon too.


	15. Chapter 15

The Chief showed up at five a.m., after a long hours wait. 

George had tried to call me about fifteen times before he gave up. I didn't want to show my resolve, but it was important no matter if he liked it or not. I just hoped he wouldn't resent me forever.

"Stevens?"

I looked up embarrassed. I must have drifted off in thought.

"Are you okay there? Baby okay?"

"Yeah! Of course!"

"Then why are you blocking the entrance to my office?"

"I'm sorry! But I was looking to talk to you real quick."

"Come on in. What's on your mind?"

"I don't know how much Bailey told you, but my daughter Hannah?"

"The leukemia patient? Yes, I remember."

"Last night her biological father died in a car wreck. I wanted to see if we could work it out somehow so that I could attend the funeral. My mother said in two days, but I don't think she had realized that she was in a new day already. I googled. It's tomorrow. In Chalis."

"Are you sure you are going to be okay to go? Or can I assume you are asking for O'Malley too?"

"No he won't be coming. I'll be fine, though."

"We can work it out. Make sure you get with Grey or Yang about your interns though."

"Thank you."

"But Izzie?"

"Yes sir?"

"I know this is going to be hard on you, but try to remember George too?"

"On the outside it looks selfish, but trust me. I am only thinking of him and the baby."

He nodded and I made my way out. Time to make a call I was dreading.

"Hello?"

"Hey Mom. It's me."

"Didn't think I would hear from you so soon. Especially after your outburst."

"Mom, stop it. I'll be down in the morning. Maybe we can talk before we go?"

"Sure."

"Okay. I will see you then. Bye."

I closed the phone.

At least I was one step closer to the end.

Hours later, my shift was past full swing and coming to an end. I could almost pretend that what was happening, wasn't. I had tedious paperwork, a surgery, and never once saw George. I knew that I would have to face him eventually, but for right now, I was okay with the day sweeping by.

When I arrived home, he was waiting on our bed. He offered no greeting, just soundlessly watched as I began to pack my bags. After a while, silence was too much, and I began to talk nervously.

"Figured I would go ahead and pack up so I don't have to get up so early."

Nothing.

"You know how messy I can be sometimes, I would never make it. I talked to my mom after the Chief. Not much to say really, but I told her that I wanted to talk. I don't anticipate, or want, her to be in our baby's life. I do want her to know that I am okay though. That we have a happy life, and will have a big, happy family."

Nothing.

"Come on George! This is killing me! I hate going against your wishes, but I have to! I have to do this!"

"You can stay right here. We can watch Ellis' surgeries and make cookies. You can stay right here where it is warm, and happy. You don't need to close up shop on your past all alone. We can talk it out right here. Maybe go see your mom later. You don't have to go."

I began to cry. I clutched his hand, and laid my head on his knee.

"I do, George. You are more than welcome to come, but I do have to go."

"I will not go and watch you mourn another man. Especially not after everything that was done."

"It's not about me mourning another man! I'm mourning a memory that was once good. No matter what happens, once you care it's forever. Don't hate me for this. Please don't feel like I am going to mourn a man. There is nothing to worry about because you and I? We are more than caring, or memories, we are forever."

"Let's just go to bed."

It was a minor concession, but one that I would gladly take. Despite his anger, we slept close and well. He didn't say a word when I got up to take a shower. He turned his back to me when I came into get dressed, and offered no goodbyes when I leaned in to kiss him and left.

The drive seemed to stretch out forever in front of me. However, sooner than I had anticipated, I was in front of my old trailer.

I got out to stretch and look around. Even though I was sure it was a trick of the eyes, everything around me seemed weather beaten and bland. Seattle was always rainy, but seemed much more colorful and lush than this. I was accomplishing nothing with this train of thought, so I grabbed my bag and headed in.

When I entered, it was like a blast from the past. Nothing had changed. Mom was sitting at the kitchen table/bed chain smoking steadily, blowing smoke out into an unseen distance. My fourth grade picture sat in a frame marred with grease and dust above the stove. I looked down at myself, and like the past, I was standing with a full rounded belly feeling undeniably young.

"It's been a long time."

"Not much has changed."

"Except you."

"I'm not that different."

"But you sure think you're better, don't you?"

"Didn't know that bettering myself was so wrong."

"That's not wrong, but looking down your nose is, Cricket. You've been doing that for a long time. But you aren't much better are you? You have a fancy degree and Doctor in front of your name, but you are the same stupid, pregnant girl. Are you going to give away another one of my grandbabies?"

"No matter what you think, I never looked down on anyone. I do have a good life now, if you're interested. I have great friends and we share a nice home. My boyfriend George is there too. He loves me, Mom, and our baby. We haven't even set up a nursery and he is running our closet over with toys and blankets. His mother comes over once a month for a day to go shopping, and share meals. His brothers took me to a pig roast and carnival a few months ago, and it was just like home to me. I have a happy life, and a happy family. Can you be happy for that?"

"Sure. If you hadn't abandoned your real family. Billy."

"I did my best for you, but I could only mother you for so long. And Billy? Newsflash! He left me! Apparently, he never changed either. Once a mean drunk, always a mean drunk."

"Well, if your new boyfriend is so great, why isn't he here?"

"He didn't understand why I needed to come and face this place down. But when I go home, he will be waiting for me no matter what."

"Well good luck with that."

"Thanks, Mom. I'm going to go change before we head out. Oh, by the way. Here's a picture of Sarah. Well, she's Hannah now, but this is a picture of us with George, my boyfriend."

"Where'd you get this? Why does she look so sickly?"

"Because she is sickly. She has leukemia, but it looks like it is in remission. We took that picture a few weeks ago after her last appointment. I did the right thing, giving her away. Her family is great. We send emails every few days now."

I left her to stare at the picture.

Within a few hours, the funeral was over. Everyone had long left the cold cemetery, and I was left beside his fresh plot. I awkwardly sat beside the dirt and began.

"It's been forever since I've seen you. You took off right after I told you about the baby, and I was gone when you eventually came back. The baby was a girl. I named her Sarah, but her adoptive parents call her Hannah. She beautiful, and smart, and more than I could have ever thought of. God, she has leukemia, which is so unfair, and she is still perfect! After you left, I became more determined to go myself. I'm a surgeon now. I have great friends, a great boyfriend, and we have a baby on the way. Despite everything, I did really good for myself. I'm sorry I can't say the same for you. Billy, I spent a lot of time hating you, but I don't think I would have the life I have right now if it wasn't for the times we had. I could never appreciate all of my good fortune if I hadn't had a ton of bad luck. Not that you were all bad! I don't mean that! Just that we never won, or worked, so now that it's all golden, I can appreciate that, and you, more. George may never understand it, but you helped me find him without ever knowing it. Too bad I could never tell you myself before you died. He didn't want me to come, but I had to say one last goodbye to you and to my past. So, goodbye. I loved you."

I started to get up, when a hand reached out for mine. I could only smile. George had come. He never would understand, I guess, but at least he was here.

"Let's go home, Iz."


	16. Chapter 16

Happy Halloween one and all! I hope you are enjoying some great tricks and treats! I wanted to give you a little holiday goodness before I go out for my first annual egg fight! Nothing like two grown adults getting in a glorified food fight with a four year old! Worry not, we'll all be wearing our warmest sweats and only (potentially) destroying my property:-) Have an excellent night!

I will go ahead and mention that I do not own Ghosthunters, and I do not know what the outcome will be of their live ghost hunt at Waverly Hills. Before the critics attack, I do not imply that there is ghost activity there, or that it will play out tonight, but to imply that it will be good, creepy fun, is awesome! I have also never alluded before to Alex and Ava being a couple, but in the spirit of the holiday, I had to give myself some happy.

* * *

"Oooo! I am going to geeeeet you Iiiiiizzzziiiee!"

I looked up annoyed from my pumpkin at Alex wearing one of Meredith's best bed sheets.

"Look, I take my holidays seriously. I am armed with a carving knife, and I know how to use it."

"For I shouldn't mess with Prego the Clown?"

I heaved a chunk of pumpkin guts at him.

"You're damn right! Now take off that sheet before you crack your face!"

I heard a quick "Yes, Mom!" before he thudded to the floor.

George rushed in soon after.

"Do you have what I asked for?"

He unloaded his bag cautiously, laying his bounty before me.

"No! No, no, no! I asked for three medium white pumpkins, four jumbo bags of Nerds, and that's it! Not two large orange pumpkins, a bag of Rolos and off brand Smarties!"

"What does it matter?"

"My whole decor was based on those three pumpkins! And there has to be continuity in the candy of the Trick-or-Treaters get disgruntled! Then they egg, George! And soap, and TP!"

He leaned over and kissed my forehead.

"Honey, you are getting hormonal. I will take the brunt of the Trick-or-Treater wrath."

"But I need this to be perfect! Including tonight, we have two major holidays to go before the baby! Time to get our ducks in a row! There is a standard we are trying to exceed!"

"Oookay. I'm going to go put on my costume, and when you are ready, I will help you with yours. Bye now."

I looked dejectedly at my all wrong pumpkins.

Happy Freakin' Halloween.

After a solid hours preparation, I had set the front and put on my costume. Looking in the mirror, I suddenly felt self concious. I was wearing orange sweats, an orange jogging top, had a jack o'lantern face painted on my big belly, and a green pipe cleaner head band on that was twisted to resemble vines. Maybe I was wrong for putting the belly out like this. Maybe I should have just painted the face on a sweatshirt. "Too late now, Mama." I told myself and proceeded to meet the gang downstairs where the party was in full swing, and everyone was dressed appropriately in their own way.

Mark was wearing a Freddy Krueger ensemble, fully ready to cut someone up. Derek was a decorated noblesman clinging to a reluctant damsel which was Meredith. Christina was dressed both hilariously, and ironically, as Killjoy the Clown. Alex was a dark knight holding court to Ava and baby Rebecca who were both snow princesses. And my darling George? He was sporting a baby belly suit under a pumkin shirt. How cute to be twins, huh?

Ava was the first to spot me.

"Oh my God, Izzie! How cute are you?"

Meredith and Cristina looked back and forth between George and I.

"Are you two trying to tell us something?"

"No!" I exclaimed as I made my waddling descent. "Is everything in place?"

Derek smiled.

"Laptop is all set up on Sci-Fi for the panic button, and Ghosthunters will be on an hour after the Trick-or-Treaters leave."

"That's good. Alex, George, did you get the candy ready?"

"Bagged meticulously just as you asked."

"Perfect. Let's eat!"

We ate and mingled, and it was fun. After a while, even I was convinced I was cute in my pumpkin garb.

Unfortunately, the weather turned for the worse within a half hour of our show starting. Of course the thunder began to rumble as it became intense. Several times I neared the panic button, just convinced I had seen something.

In a flash, all the power was killed.

Rebecca began to cry out.

Derek and George went for the circuit breaker and flashlights.

That's when the door flew open with a large "CLACK!"

A dark figure stood in the doorway.

The lights flared suddenly on.

It was Callie.

She was sopping wet in what was once a cat costume.

Mark grew a wry grin and murmured, "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty"  
Cristina smacked him hard.

"Sorry to intrude, but I was on my way to a party and it got too bad to drive."

Meredith spoke up first.

"Come on in. Let me get you a towel. You're not intruding, just watching Ghosthunters until the lights went out."

Callie eyed me as she brushed past.

"Nice costume, Stevens. If you can call it that."

"Izzie, ignore her. Do not let her spoil your fun. You are cute tonight."

I turned around and leaned into George.

"I'll try. But honestly, I'm looking more forward to the part where you get to help me wash all the paint off."

However awkwardly, the night went on successfully. Callie left sometime before the boys decided drunkenly to spit pumpkin seeds at one another, but not until she witnessed their own pathetic ghost hunting attempts in Meredith's closet where Dead Mommy used to live.

Yeah, we're a lively group, huh?

But as the night unfolded, and my baby swam about I couldn't help but think everything was perfect, even if it didn't go by design.


	17. Chapter 17

N.-You were like a bright spot this morning with your reviewing! I had the giddies from my email clicking and clicking with all the reviews, and my cousin was getting a huge kick out of the fact you were so involved with her storyline! She said to thank you a million times over! P.S. Sorry to hear about the projectile vomit, I know how gross that can be! May you be blessed with no gags or dry heaves, and many clean towels! Glad you had a good cry:-) 

Fireflower-Glad you liked the costumes! I have a thing for pregnant bellies-they make me smile! So why not paint on a pumpkin, and dress daddy the same:-)

I am sad to say the story is starting to wind down. I would have never imagined this for my little oneshot that could! You can expect to see this story through birth, and the little moments in between. I would love to continue their story, if I can find a good little plot bunny to bop me on the head. In the meantime, you can check out my Callie one shot "These Few Words I Have to Say". Also, I am seeking a few readers for my non-fiction books. I have enabled my email on my Author Page if you would like to contact me for more information:-)

* * *

In the aftermath of Billy's death and my goodbyes to my mother, I began to really appreciate everything that my friends were doing for me. Not that I didn't before, but things are always bright and shiny when you let go of that which is not.

Just a few days after our Halloween party, Alex packed up his things to move into a cozy two bedroom with Ava and Rebecca. It was then that I realized we had never even discussed what we were going to do with our little family. There was no way that we could fit three people into one room and it be okay.

I was suddenly ate up with nerves. Where would we put the baby? What exactly were we missing for the baby? Somehow in the shuffle, we kept putting off buying a crib until we had the space, and forgot to get the space. I thought the idea was romantic to wait until the baby is born to find out a gender, but now I thought it was stupid. My whole closet was swathed in white, jaundice yellow, and puke green. Maybe not so extreme, but that's what it felt like. I knew Louise would be coming to town that weekend, but it seemed like there would never be enough time to shop and prepare.

To make matters worse, even when it really shouldn't have, I thought of yet another creature I had forgotten about in it's entirety.

The Baby Shower.

I had never made an invite list, even though it would be short in numbers. I never called on anyone, no one had stepped up. It hadn't even been mentioned since I first found out that I was pregnant! This kid was imminent and I was in no way prepared.

I was so aggravated with myself.

George and I sucked. How can you overlook important things like this, when this is all you have been thinking about?

But the point of no return is where fate always intervenes.

I was just lucky we found that point a month and a half or so before the baby was born.

After a very stressful day of making To-Do Lists, and fretting, I finally arrived home.

Cristina quirked an eye at me.

"Why so glum Mommy Dearest"  
"I'm not ready for this baby."

She looked to my middle.

"Isn't it a little too late to be figuring that out?"

"Yes."

"Then why now?"

"Because...I don't know! I am a bad mother already! I don't even have a home for my family!"

Meredith appeared from the kitchen.

"You live here. The baby will live here."

"I can't put that imposition on you! You ar a doctor. You need sleep. That will not happen with an infant in the house. And where would we put the baby? There is no room for all of it's little baby trappings!"

She and Cristina smirked at each other.

"We thought you would say that. Come on upstairs."

This, folks, is where I found out what friends are for.

On Alex's former doorway, there was a small placard on the knob that read "Shhh...baby sleeping!" When I opened the door, Alex and George were painting the walls a soft cream color. I had no option but to just cry. Never in a million years had I expected this.

Cristina nudged me.

"Dry up the waterworks. You'll have to try harder to breathe, and you'll get the kid high on fumes."

Meredith linked our elbows.

"Did you really think there was another option?"

Still speechless, I listened as Alex continued on.

"No one was going to put you out, and you've had a lot on your mind. Ava went out a couple of weeks ago and made you a registry. She said she knew what you would really need and it would be quicker for her to go it alone."

George stepped up and pulled an envelope from his back pocket.

"I don't suck that much, Izzie. I am a confident father! I was thinking and planning, even if I don't share your enthusiasm for the baby books. Open this, it came from my mom today in the mail."

Inside, I found the most beautiful, handmade card. On the front there was a picture of me standing to the side to show off my baby bulge. It was decorated artfully with ribbon threaded around in a milk chocolate color, on the heavy, cream cardstock. A banner below it read, "Our family is expanding!" When I opened it, the tags from Ava's registry fell loose to reveal the invitation.

Join Nana and the family at Joe's!

George and Izzie are having a surprise!

November 10th, 2007 at 2p.m. sharp!

Be late and you don't get cake!

Exceptions made for On-Calls and 911's!

RSVP with Nana, Auntie Cristina, or Auntie Meredith!

"When did she have time for this?"

George laughed out loud.

"Have time? She's been dying for this since you told her! Of course she wanted to see us, but she's really been coming into town to meet up with Joe!"

"There was more planning involved than my wedding ever had," Cristina snarked, "Only this time I only had to carry around a notebook for confirmations. That was pretty painless compared to what they did."

"How did I not know this was going on?"

"Well, you are pretty clueless, Iz. Plus we've been favoring out for the nurses so they wouldn't let the gossip get to you."

I smiled to Meredith for that.

"Pretty painful?"

"You have no idea. Let's just say that McSteamy has done his part as well!"

I laughed and looked around. Family and friends are made to catch you when you fall and dust you off when they can't. They love you unconditionally even when you don't love yourself. In the smiling faces in front of me, I had found that. From the bathroom floor to the baby shower, they had proven themselves time and again.

Appreciate isn't even a strong enough word.

Love doesn't sum it up.

No verb or adjective can ever compare.

I'm just plain lucky.

I went off to start preparing dinner.

I guessed that would be a good point to start the payoff.


	18. Chapter 18

Sorry that it has, once again, been so long! It appears I am more than a little rusty at job hunting since I haven't had to for almost six years! lol Enjoy!

--

In my mind, I knew everything was being taken care of. I could even see the nursery becoming more and more complete everyday. However, I couldn't stop the worry.

Late at night, while everyone was sleeping, I mentally counted how many people wouldn't come because they hated me. I would count my selfish failures as the reason why I wasn't accomplishing the things my friends had accomplished for me. In a short week I had devoted my life to worry.

Leave it to Louise to assure that I couldn't on the day of the shower.

When I woke up, I had a brand new dress laid out with all of the fixings. After my shower, I found a whole array of every convenience breakfast item known to man. Cristina showed up around ten to take me for a manicure and pedicure-apparently her way of weasling out of decorating. Once I was all polished, we went to grab a quick lunch.

At one-thirty, there was no more stalling.

No options.

Just Joe's.

Cristina was giving me the ugly eye, so I pushed myself inside.

Oh my God! You could not believe my surprise!

Everything was fantastically plush in shades of neutral and baby pinks. All of the liquor bottles were concealed under cozies made of brown cotton and pink bows. A complete nursery set comprised of a crib, changing table, dresser, and rocking chair were arranged artfully around the bar with all of their dressings intact. Pretty cream callas lay atop the varnished table tops in a windmill pattern with chocotinis, both alcoholic and non, in between each floral blade. All in all, it was simply perfect and majestic in a cozy home way.

I went directly to Louise and Joe to give them huge hugs. It no longer mattered if everyone and no one came, because at least two people cared enough to make all of this. They glided past my thanks, but they deserved it.

Before I knew it, party time had arrived. Joe's began to fill up with nurses that once snickered, but now carried gift bags and elaborate diaper cakes. The Chief and Adele showed up with an armful of presents, most notably a tiny, white, Dior sleepsack that bore a name tag that read "Dr. O'Malley Jr.". Once again, my friends showed up with presents that could only be from them, and by the end of the shower, I had everything I could ever need for at least six babies.

After Joe and Louise had packed up the remaining food and enlisted the straggling patrons to carry it across the way to the break room, I took time to just sit. I had almost lulled myself to sleep with the gentle rocking, when a hand reached out to stop the chair.

I turned, expecting to see George. However, I was face to face with Callie. For no good reason, I clutched to my belly.

"Hey, Callie. Fancy meeting you here. Free cake just went across the road to the hospital, you should go have some."

"Shut up."

"Excuse me?"

"I said 'Shut Up'. You need to let me get this out before I puke."

I answered her with silence.

"Okay. Perfect. Look. I know you weren't expecting to see me, and I wasn't expecting to be here, but I am. I've talked a lot about being the bigger and better person, but I haven't been. Ignoring you, and letting people harass George, does not make me better. It makes me lame, and low, and I am sorry. This does not mean you are not the things I said, but that I should let it go and stop calling you them. And I do. I do want to let go. We will never be friends, I will never be excited about how things have turned out, but I am not letting go if I am holding on to hatred and blame. Enjoy your holidays, Izzie. Enjoy your family. You've been lucky, so good luck on the rest."

"I don't know what to say."

"Just say that you understand my position, and you accept the apology I owe you. I won't forget, but I forgive you. Say you accept my forgiveness, and please forgive me for making it even harder."

"I do. I am so sorry..."

"No more of that. We have an understanding. I guess we won't be seeing each other much after the next few weeks, but I'll see you around. Promise me that you will take care of him?"

"I promise."

She turned around and left.

After she walked out the door, I shut my eyes once again.

I slept worriless until everyone came back. 


	19. Chapter 19

-1I apologize a million times over for the delay…

----

Like a whirlwind, my precious waking hours melted into days that morphed into weeks.

The holidays, along with my due date, were literally in front of me. I barely faked it through Thanksgiving, and I was feeling even less prepared for Christmas Spirit. If I was honest, it was the third-and worst-trimester, and impending mommy hood bringing me down.

But I was not prepared for honest.

I was prepared for Martha Stewart Christmas façade.

Once I was released from work, I threw myself into cleaning and preparing the nursery down to a neat stack of fresh newborn diapers on my picture perfect changing table. Once I had obsessed till there was no more, I threw myself into hoarding the "perfect" gifts for everyone on my list. After I had them, I spent endless hours perfecting each crease of carefully selected wrap, and creating my own fanciful embellishments. I was so gung-ho, that I was over the excitement by the time it arrived.

I was now thinking I should have paced myself.

Do not get me wrong, I love George's family, but I couldn't stop the little bubbles of apprehension in my stomach as we left the city for the farm. There was no shaking the feeling that we shouldn't be leaving, even though I couldn't define it. I pleaded with George several times before we took off the day before Christmas Eve, but he just shook me off citing my lack of holiday cheer. Now, laying on the family couch watching the spastic pattern of the tree lights, I found basis for my fear.

The baby hadn't been moving very much, and in the absence of kicks and rolls, I was feeling an undeniable pain low in my back. If I wasn't in labor now, I would be soon. Crap.

As if on a cue, Louise bustled in.

"Izzie, sweetheart! Come on now! I know you aren't feeling so hot, but you have to pull it together! You're bringing my party down, darling, and I can't have it! Now pretend you are like that car full of pretty presents, and make like your bright and shiny. At least for George. He loves you, but I am almost certain you are working his nerves."

"You know I don't mean to, but…"

"But nothing, Izzie. Everyone is out playing in the snow. Use this time to pull whatever you have to together, and come help me make these pies. An ice storm is coming, so we might as well prepare the rations so to speak. We have a generator, but it won't help that much. You gotta save it for some light and heat, not so much baking and eating."

"Did you say ice storm?"

"Oh yeah,! Coming right up on us! Now chop chop! Prepare to be prepared for at least a few days with us!"

"We can't have an ice storm!"

"It might seem a little primitive, but we'll make due! It won't be nearly as bad as it sounds!"

"You don't understand, Louise, we can't be stuck!"

"Cabin fever will not kill you, Isobel Stevens!

"Giving birth here might!"

Like a sign, water suddenly flooded my pants.

"Did your water just break?"

"I think so."

"So you are in labor?"

"I think so."

Louise seized my hand, along with her phone.

"Come on to the bathroom. We need to clean you up and put on some dry clothes. I'll go get George."

I let her lead me on, as I cried in panic. She calmly spoke to the operator as she wrapped a plush towel around my waist. After an abrupt end to her call she threw open the window and leaned out.

"George get in here!"

She slammed the pane resolutely against any protests. Turning back to me, she reached for a change of clothes that she keeps in the linen closet for emergencies. With quick efficiency she stripped me, cleaned me, and dressed me once again. By the time George came in, she had finished with me, and was filling a trash sack with towels, washcloths, and another change of clothing.

"What's going on? More news about the storm?"

I wailed loudly again.

"Izzie, the storm is not that big of a deal."

"George, listen closely. Izzie's water is broken, and she is scared. I called out to the firehouse in the next township to see if we had a chance in getting an ambulance, but their tied up north at a crash where the storm has already hit. I let them know you'd be taking the main route directly in, if they can send any help, but they probably won't. They are going to call to the hospital and let them know you are coming though. You need to go get the truck. Don't bother with your car, it won't make it into town if the weather gets bad. Here's a sack of towels in case you should need them."

We looked at each other stupidly for a moment.

"Her water is broken? Izzie, your water is broken now? Why are you already calling 911? Surely we have time."

"Both of you hush! You are doctors! We are out in the middle of nowhere with an ice storm heading in, so I think it'd be best to let them know who, what, and where just in case worse comes to worst. Now stop fussing so much and go get the truck before my grandbaby is born on my bathroom floor!"

With one last look, George hurried himself outside with the bag of towels. Louise turned back to me.

"You are going to be just fine, Izzie. Let's run get your coat on."

I listened to the first slashes of sleet against the house.

"Aren't you coming? I think you should come."

"I think this baby is the one coming. Right along with the storm. You two run on ahead, and I will have one of the boys run me out when we are clear to go. Don't argue with me either. There's no time to fool with me when you need to beat the clock."

"Louise, I am scared."

"I know you are, but you will be fine. Run on out, and your chances will be better."

With a final kiss to the cheek, she pushed me out to the sleet and snow. George helped me crawl into the cab, and ran around as fast as he could. When he was finally rested behind the wheel, he reached for my hand.

"We are about to be parents, aren't we?"

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure on that one."

"Are you scared?"

"Terrified. You?"

"Same."

I squinted my eyes to gauge the visibility.

"How far is the next hospital?"

"About ten miles."

"We better hurry."

I gritted my teeth with the first bite of a clear contraction.

"Please, hurry, George. Please."

He flipped on the wipers, and put the truck in drive. I hoped silently as I gasped at another contraction that seemed far too soon.

I was begging to the Lord that we would make it in time when the truck suddenly slid out of control and into a banking of deep snow just two miles from the farm.


	20. Chapter 20

Ho Ho Ho all! I hope you are having a safe and merry Christmas/Holidays/Present-Time or whatever pleases you! I have been reluctant to post this chapter for many reasons but mostly because a) I am sad to see the story end and b) I thought since the baby was coming on Christmas maybe this chapter should too...therefore this is my present to you extra long for your patience!

I dedicate this to my little buddy G who just turned five on Christmas Eve who keeps me happy and entertained with stories about the day her little brothers were born:-)

----

My thoughts were racing right along with my frantic heart beat after impact. All around us was snow, snow, and more snow. Just barely, from the top of the windshield, could you see more falling steadily about us. I looked left to George where he was intermittedly banging on the steering wheel and cursing the night.

The truck was going nowhere.

"George, this is not going to work. We cannot be stuck. I cannot be in labor. Not now. Not at your mother's house. Not stuck in a truck."

"Thanks for the reality check there Dr. Seuss."

Another contraction ripped through me.

"You do not get to be sarcastic! You get to get me out of here now!"

"Lay back."

"What?"

"Lay back. I need to check your vitals and your progress."

"No. A doctor in a hospital does."

"I am a doctor, Iz. You too are a doctor. You know better. Lay back."

"No! Right here, in this moment, you are my boyfriend, a soon-to-be father, not a doctor in a hospital!"

"I am a doctor in a truck with a laboring girlfriend that, like it or not appears to be ready to push out my kid."

I started to fight him once again, but I knew he was right. I could not account for the cervix, but the rest of me was fighting to let my baby loose. I laid back slowly. Still I was hoping that an ambulance would come past. Maybe another motorist. Just not here.

George went about fussing with a few pillows and some blankets for warmth and comfort. Our only win was that we were in an extended cab that allowed at least a little room to work. With his learned precsion, he set up towels, washcloths, his medical bag, two gallon jugs of water, and a plastic basin on the dashboard. Watching him work mechanically was like a drug of sorts. There was a routine comfort to be drawn from seeing him do what I myself had done many times before. I handed him my small bag of diapers, baby toiletries, baby clothing, and blankets without a thought. Just as thoughtlessly he took them and began arranging and discarding as needed.

After another rough contraction, I realized that my comfort could be drawn from more than just the OR routine. In all of his efficiency, his complete competence shined. He truly was an amazing, capable doctor. Then it struck me how lucky we were to have him as Daddy in our growing family.

"George, you boggle my mind. Aren't you scared?"

"Scared of what?"

"Scared of what? We are about to have a baby! In your mom's truck! In a winter storm while we are stuck in snow! And you? You are cool as could be! Putting together a makeshift maternity ward on a dashboard like it happens all the time!"

He stopped his preparations for just a moment, staring into his own eyes in the rearview mirror. It was like a trance. He stared on as he began to talk.

"Dad always told me that the role of a father was to always stand proud and above no matter what the situation. As a doctor, I was taught to always be prepared, always expect the worse, be quick, analyze every angle and prioritize, there is no room for mistakes when you are talking life or death. Now here I am, in the worst situation I could fathom for the birth of my first child. I don't know what to do except to do what I have been taught."

"But are you scared? You are all steely and resolved, a hardcore surgeon to the bone over there, and I am here, the most unpleasant version of ankles up in a Ford. For once I can't read you when I need to the most."

"I am frightened. But I am also excited. We are going to be official parents now. While this set up sucks, I am proud in a barbaric way that it's me, you, and the wilderness. I will be the one to guide you, comfort you, take care of you and our baby. I won't be a bystander when the baby crowns, I will get to do more than hold a hand and cut an umbillical cord. To be a surgeon you must have confidence, but it is unparalleled to deliver a new life that signifies me becoming a father."

I felt almost awkward in the intimate dark where his confessions hung heavy in the air. I know he loves me, but the declarations that he lets loose every great once and a while always leave me breathless and elated. And for all the emotion that he made flesh with words, he dove in fast to assess the birth of our child. Only a doctor, right?

"What's the news doc?"

"Your vitals are good, and I am getting a strong heartbeat for the baby. Right now you are between six and seven centimeters dilated. Looks like anytime now really."

"Check again."

"Why?"

"Please, George."

Once again he went through meticulously checking and charting on a scrap piece of paper he found in his bag.

"Same deal, Iz. Six to seven centimeters dilated, everything is looking good. It'll all be over soon."

"I'm not ready. Got anything in your bag to slow this down?"

"There is no slowing down. It's natural time for the baby to come, and the labor is progressing text book. Really, we are looking at best case scenario here."

"I am not ready."

"You are fine."

"No, George, I am not. I am not ready to be a mother. Certainly not a good one. This has to stop. I can't."

"What are you talking about?"

"I did not have a happy childhood. My mom tried for a while, but she certainly didn't hand me blueprints. I can feed, and clean, and clothe. I can articulate several hundred ailments and illnesses in babies and children. I can bake, but I can't relate. I havent had the time to catch up on children's books and movies. I have never seen The Wizard of Oz! Some say it's great, some say it's freaky and riddled with political character, how would I know? How can I sit with my kid and not know what is next? What if the kid is scared, but I am too freaked to help? I am not ready."

"The Wizard of Oz? Is that what this comes down to? You are too scared to give birth because you haven't seen The Wizard of Oz?"

"It's an analogy...it's just...what am I going to do when all of my supposed expertise proves useless when I am at home alone with a bored toddler and I've got nothing? No frame of reference?"

He stoicly let me squeeze his hand as the pain silenced me. When it subsided, he spoke again.

"That's the thing, Iz. You are not alone. You will never be all alone. Sure, there are times when I will be on call, and maybe everyone is out of the house or occupied, but you will never be truly alone. Mom will always be a call or drive away, same for me. If you're lost you have friends and family to find you. Maybe the concept is kinda new, but your back is covered. I swear that on my life. As for the rest? I know you. You will be a fantastic mother. If a couple of flying monkeys freak you out, you will find a way to make it work in your favor. Our baby will just love you more for your honesty, or maybe your silliness when you're covering your face and making it look like it's all for fun!"

"One more thing..."

"Come on! I have used everything in my arsenal to help you!"

He playfully tweaked my nose.

"What about Hannah? What are we going to tell her? We promised that we would go over and see her tomorrow night, and call if I went into labor so that she could come up to the hospital for the birth and see her new kind-of brother or sister!"

"We can call her now, I think I still have a signal. She will understand that we don't want her out in a storm trying to get to a hospital that we are not at. She will be just as happy having a Christmas with us right in the room with the baby there. I bet that will even make it better. Call her."

I took his phone, but I wasn't so sure. Our relationship had steadily improved over the past few months, but it still felt a little strained. Like one disappointment would be one more too many. Still, I dialed knowing that she really wouldn't forgive me if I didn't at least let her know. It would be that right then, my labor decided to mean business. George ducked to check me out once again while I waited for an answer.

Her mother answered as I groaned out once again.

"Izzie?"

In a pant a sputtered out, "Hi! Merry Christmas! Hannah there?"

"Are you okay? Baby okay? I thought we were seeing you and George tomorrow?"

"I am about to have this kid anytime now, it looks like. Hannah! Please!"

"I'll go get her!"

Hannah chose to pick up during one particularly visceral scream.

"Izzie? Are you okay?"

"I'll be just fine honey! Look, I just wanted to tell you that I am about to go into labor now. It looks like we can't come over tomorrow night, but maybe Mom and Dad can bring you over to see us. We have presents!"

"You are having the baby right now? Are you at the hospital?"

"Not exactly. It's pretty bad out here, and on the way we slid off the road and we're stuck."

"But the baby! You won't be okay!"

"Hannah, we will be just fine. The snow should stop soon, the family knows we are out here and so do the emergency workers. Besides, don't you think George is the best doctor ever?"

"I know he is, but I don't know it's safe!"

"It is as safe as it can be. Louise packed us lots of supplies in case the baby decided to come. We are warm, and all set up. I will have George take pictures of the whole thing and text them to your mom so you can see for yourself. But look, there will be no baby if I don't start pushing, I will call you as soon as we're done."

"Bye, Mom. Be safe."

Tears slid down my cheeks as I hung up.

"Izzie, we are in crunch time. You have surpassed eight and a half centimeters, and dilating steadily. It's time to get ready to push."

He looked up.

"What's the tears for?"

"Hannah called me Mom."

"Merry Christmas, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Are you ready to start?"

"As ready as I will ever be."

"I love you Isobel Stevens."

"I love you George O'Malley."

With a curt nod, he leaned back down, bracing my knees with his hands. I clasped onto his grasp and let out my first push.

"Okay, baby, breathe for a minute. You are doing just fine."

"It doesn't feel fine!"

"Maybe not now, but it'll be fine when it's over. Push!"

I bore down once more.

"George, no more!"

"Izzie, I can literally feel the baby's head! One more push to crown. Come on!"

"I want this to be fucking over!"

"You are crowning! I can see the head!"

"I don't care!"

"Yes you do! It's almost over, then you can rest! Push!"

It was like a time warp all of a sudden. We were in the space of moments, but everything was floating lazily it seemed. In short spurts my body revealed a tiny angry face, shoulders, torso, belly, and with final assistance, a set of little legs. A piercing shriek rang out into the night like a song.

I dropped my body back against the seat and door. Everything felt like a strange mass of jello from head to toe. I sighed with sweet relief as George lifted our baby up.

The sweetest look of pure adoration crossed his face as he sighed, "It's a girl!"

"A girl? We have a little girl? Oh my God! We are parents! We did it!"

"We did."

He laid her against my bare stomach and prepared to cut the umbilical cord. I stroked her tiny arms as she struggled with the indignity of birth. The weakened pushes of my afterbirth came gently and almost unnoticed in the bliss.

"Do you think she is perfect, George?"

"All ten fingers, and all ten toes. She's quite a bit smaller than we anticipated, but she looks healthy."

As he snipped the cord and tied it off. he picked her up gently and placed her in the shallow basin to be cleansed. I nodded off as he handled our baby girl's care. Swaddled snugly in her first diapering and gown along with a thick, plush blanket, he tapped my leg til I woke.

"Are you ready to hold her, Mommy? I think she is a little hungry."

I nodded tensely and took her into my arms. She took to my bare breast like the most natural thing in the world. Quietly suckling, she took ahold of my finger and drifted off to sleep.

George watched curiously as he began to clean me up. I didn't even noticed until I felt the loose pants slip over my thighs, barely helping as he pushed them up past my thighs.

"You are looking pretty good there, Izzie. I've saved the afterbirth for analysis when we get into the city. Your bleeding looks minimal. Because of her size, an episiotomy wasn't necessary. Vitals look in good range for the both of you. I think we've nailed the best outcome here."

"That's good."

"Are you tired?"

"Very."

"You did great."

I finally looked up and smiled.

"We did, Daddy."

He reached over to stroke her cheek.

"We did. What are we going to name her?"

"I don't know. You?"

"She doesn't look like the names we had picked out. They don't adequately encompass her."

"They really don't."

I took a look at the clock next to us.

"Time of birth, Dr. O'Malley?"

"Eleven fifty-nine p.m. December twenty fourth of two-thousand and seven."

"How about Noella?"

"Like the first? With an Italian twist?"

"Don't laugh!"

"I like it! Just don't call her Noella Bella! Or set her crib music to The First Noel!"

"Shut up! How about Noella Louise O'Malley?"

"After my Mom?"

"After your Mom."

"I like it!"

We sat there like that for nearly an hour, just staring at each other and our daughter in awe. She simply was amazing from her tiny frame to her quiet snores.

"Y'know, Iz, I almost forgot your present!"

As he reached back cheerily to retrieve it, I began to worry.

Don't lie!

You've seen Knocked Up and every other baby movie with unwed parents, and you're thinking the same-he has a ring! I love him, but I was no blushing bride right then. I sighed in relief when he handed me a differently shaped box than that of a ring.

I tore quietly as to not wake Noella, but loudly burst out into laughter as the approaching lights of a wrecker and ambulance bounced off the front of my present...

A DVD of The Wizard of Oz.

"You were so stressed out one night when we first met about your lack of pop kid culture, and frankly I was shocked you hadn't seen it too. Given your earlier outburst, I chose correctly. Merry Christmas!"

I gave him a quick kiss as the EMT's came for our rescue.

---

A/N: To the mommies, I may not have the labor/delivery 100 because I haven't had my own basically. Hope I kept it mostly correct since I am mostly going from what I have seen/heard from my friends or family that have been there!


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